It is so fascinating to begin to really see your child for who they are using the framework of the Human Design System. Would you like to recognize the beauty of their authenticity, how they are designed to be respected, and watch them blossom? When your child is raised according to their true nature, it is incredibly rewarding and fulfilling to be a parent. Understanding your child's Human Design honors them and raises them to be their own authority. Facilitating their differentiation by treating them in accordance with their design allows their uniqueness to develop fully.
The majority of us are conditioned to sameness from the moment of birth by well-meaning but unknowing (of our design and true nature) parents. Parents who have been through the system themselves and want what they think is best for us.
Our seven-centered, standard education system fosters the belief that truth can be found somewhere outside of yourself, and that decisions should be made from the mind's logic. We are often told to think things over, make a list, weigh the pros and cons, and so on. We are trained through repetition, tested in the manner that rewards accurate memory of facts, figures, logical ways of conceptualizing and communicating.
This methodology of learning can give us the notion that the most important thing is the ability to recall and repeat the facts fed to us by the collective. We are taught through experiences of standardized tests to compare ourselves to others based on the testing of our mental intelligence as the system defines it. What about emotional intelligence, survival intelligence? Rare is the teacher or school who knows how to nurture a unique being, even rarer still are those who use the Human Design System.
When we question the homogenized methods or fail them as children, we are often met with anger, ridicule or disappointment. If you do not honor your own authority then your opinion of yourself (along with your path through life) could be determined by authorities outside of you. This can lead you to experiencing a life more often filled with resistance (frustration, anger, bitterness, disappointment) rather than fulfillment (satisfaction, peace, success, delight).
What we may be shown through attempting to conform to the homogenized world through conditioning is that the collective ideal of success leaves us feeling empty somehow. Homogenized "success" depends on our conformity to the norm which only some people are designed to excel at. Excel or not, you are ushered into even further structures (college and corporations) that tend to reward you for conforming, following and obeying. Many children are encouraged to leave behind creative dreams their elders tell them are unrealistic or don't make enough money, for careers thought to be more practical and lucrative.
When we try to conform, the experience of mediocrity or failing in the system can weigh heavily upon us. Not to mention the weight of conditioning that comes from decisions made because of adaptive strategies (improve yourself! prove yourself! as an example of the undefined ego center) derived in the openness within us.
If we deviate too far from the prescribed norm, we become intellectual or social outcasts, whether the reason is inability or simple refusal to conform. Subsequently we can be looked down upon when we say what we do when we meet someone new, or looked over if we try to re-enter the system.
To someone who is firmly rooted in an understanding of and appreciation for who they are, the opinions and judgements of others mean very little. The pure frequency of such a being is not susceptible to conditioning and homogenization as is someone who is unaware. Therefore their experience of resistance in terms of anger, bitterness, frustration and disappointment does not characterize the life that they live.
By learning your child's unique Human Design and treating them accordingly, you can bestow them with the gift of self-acceptance. The gift of respecting and guiding them to treasure their uniqueness in a correct way will continue to benefit them for the rest of their life.
More and more children and young adults are discovering Human Design. Their process is much easier than the difficult experience of deconditioning that we adults have to go through. As an adult (we reach maturity at our Uranus Opposition, between 38-44 years of age) you have deeply ingrained habits learned from a lifetime of conditioning. Habits form grooves in your brain, patterns in your behavior and beliefs about what is true. It's difficult to change long-seated beliefs and patterns. The older you get, the harder it is to change. How different would life have been for you had you been parented in a way that honored the dynamics of your unique being? How different would life had been if you had known how to decide what to do?
Human Design Parenthood is Rewarding
It is no small task when we shoulder the responsibilities of parenting. We perform the privilege of guiding a unique consciousness as to how to function in this Maia - this illusion of separateness.
The life of a parent is a challenging thing. Suddenly you have a being constantly absorbing everything that you do and learning from your example by imitating. They evolve with your nurturing and are helpless in that respect. Will you nurture them to be the shining example of who they really are? Or will you mold them into the image of what you think they should be?
With awareness, the choice is clear. Now that you have Human Design, you can see the map of the energies that makes your child unique. Understanding Human Design can help you wake up to the conditioning that clouds your perception, not only of your children but of others in your life and yourself as well.
In the first seven years of life the patterns of a child's behaviors are established. Every time you interact with a child, you create opportunities for conditioning. Conditioning (adaptive behaviors) happens when our minds try to protect the openness in our design. Elders generally feel it’s their responsibility to tell younger ones what to do - what to think, how to behave, what to feel, what to watch out for and fear. Essentially passing on a conditioned mindset they were taught rather than putting the child in touch with their unique authority.
With awareness of the openness in their design, those painful conditioned behaviors can be explained and understood. Offering unconditional love of the child through the lens of their unique Human Design and treating them accordingly is an incomparable way to nurture their abilities, talents and gifts.
Aware Human Design Parenting
Following your own Strategy and Authority allows you to make decisions that lead to expressing a clearer and clearer frequency of what it is to be you. Authenticity makes you a great role model for your child.
Treating your child according to their type is the most fundamental way you can honor and respect who they are. Encouraging your child to follow their unique Strategy and Authority gives them a tremendous advantage in life. Learning how to navigate decision-making for themselves and empowering them to trust that they can choose what’s right for them benefits their lives in the best way possible.
Recognizing your, and your children's, true nature through treating everyone according to their design not only helps circumvent conditioning, it shows respect. In this way, you are modeling what it means to honor each other's uniqueness.
Want a detailed description of the guiding principles of parenting according to your child's Human Design by Type? I invite you to listen to Ra Uru Hu's lectures, A Human Design Guide to Parenting.
Seeing the mechanics behind behaviors allows you to understand the cause of situations. Knowing your family's individual designs, how they interact and are affected by each other gives you the ability to understand family dynamics. This allows you to use specific solutions for their individual needs rather than using homogenized, conditioned responses.
Human Design can bring you relief as it shows you why you may be extra-sensitive to your child's emotions or they to yours. It can show why this child is clingy and why that one is so independent, ending the comparison of ever thinking or saying, “Why can't you be like so-and-so?” It can help you accept and nurture what makes your children so special and unique, empowering them to be themselves.
Once you have the foundation of Strategy and Authority established, you’re ready for the next steps. Examine their Profile for an understanding of the costume they wear, and address their Personal Health Strategy. I highly recommend Jovian's Parenting Package for comprehensive education on how to raise your child according to their unique design. This is particularly helpful if you have multiple children and not enough money to buy each a reading. Personally I found this package very helpful in raising my own child. If you would like personal guidance in looking at your child, I offer a special on kid's readings (ages 0-29) you can sign up for in the graphic above.
There is no greater gift for a child than to be seen, loved, accepted and respected for who they are by their parents. With Human Design, you can give your children this gift. Understanding the dynamics at play means more opportunities to exhibit genuine expressions of caring, compassion, kindness and love; especially during moments when stress levels are up.
Would you like to read more free content that dives into how to parent your child by Type? I have also shared my personal Human Design Parenting experience. Are you ready to empower your parenting and your child?
By Andrea Abay-Abay
A version of this article originally appeared on JovianArchive.com home of the Human Design System
