A Fresh Start - Coming Back to Your Senses
Thoughts from a 2/5 Splenic Projector in the Human Design Experiment
The great thing about being Splenic is that any moment you can just start over.
I’ve been ‘in the experiment’ with Strategy and Authority for a number of years, and this morning I let go of my imagined linear track towards the 7 year deconditioning marker. I just started over with a beginner’s mind. No answers, only questions and curiosity.
What does it really mean to follow my Splenic awareness moment by moment as a Projector?
I was recently interviewed by Jelena Legcevic to provide some insight into questions like this for newcomers to Human Design. And I had a thing or two to say about it. But having had some time to ponder all of that, I’m considering that the question is more powerful than the answer.
I recall some things I wrote in my original introduction to this network, which more or less includes one of the most alive questions I have today:
How can I live more closely to the contact surface of awareness with its body and the environment - here and now?
Metaphorically speaking, in front of me I can see a fork in the road. Paying more attention to the simple signals of the senses and how the external world is contacting me, or getting predominantly absorbed in the wonder of my defined Head and Ajna, and whatever the mind thinks it knows or hypothesizes.
I can’t get rid of that mind, but perhaps my attention can be much more anchored in the sensory world than it currently is.
Much of my habitual attunement to the body signals have reinforced a way of sensing inside the body. But I think the real place for me to be is at that contact surface with the environment - the exterior world. Primarily noticing the external, then recognizing how the inner speaks about that sensory world and its qualities, rather than first digging into the inner sensations in order to get a perspective on the outer.
But I reckon that I still often get caught in a mental trap where the mind insists on being the interpreter of sensory data, moving from physicality to symbolic meaning and back, rather than simply from physical signal to responsive impulse.
Having a mind that is incredibly loud acoustically and visually, it presents a major psychic hurdle. Reinforced habits that keep my attention stuck on the mental plane, such as episodes of triggering memory flashes, leaving me dangling desperately in the unresolvable questions of my undefined Centers.
It’s a curious thing that there is this assumption floating around that we can somehow ‘remember’ our true self, our authentic individuality. Perhaps you experience something similar in your process that prevents you from staying present to the body’s life. This sudden overwhelm that opens Pandora's Box and out comes a flood of memories and past conditioning, pressuring you to find some kind of anchor in the truth of who you are amidst the confusion. Then the mind interacts with the memory and creates an endless loop of overthinking, pretending it is trying to see something new that finally resolves the 'issue'. And in the meantime you go back to some routine coping habit rooted in a Not-Self strategy.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone!
To at least open up a pathway out of this, in order to have a fresh start and not get spellbound by these psychic episodes of mental resistance to transformation, we can take a look at some particular mechanics for insight:
The Memory Circuit
If you look at the image above you can see something straight away: memory is not about the Empowered Knowing of Individuality.
For those of you who want to study this in greater depth, you can find resources on this as part of Ra's Rave Anatomy Courses.
Without going into too much depth on the memory circuit in this short article, I just want to point out one obvious thing: there are no Individual Channels that are part of the memory circuit.
So this leads us to a crucial insight: whenever you have memory flashes in which you’re seeking to find your individual truth in order to overcome life's oppression – you won’t. It isn’t mechanically possible. Yet in the hypnosis of that experience, the bait is that if you just dig deep enough, you can figure it out. At least, this is what keeps me endlessly tunnelling down the rabbit hole – dissociating away from my sensory contact with the external world. And it's this external environment that I invite you to bring yourself back to.
A fresh start in your experiment is all about gently coming back to your senses in the present. The simplicity of how the outer landscape is contacting your various sense organs here and now. After all, the intelligence of your Authority is rooted in your sense perception.
Sense perception is part of the substructure beneath the level of the Line, called Tone. You can learn more about this by finding relevant material online, and you can also be guided into how it works for you by Laveena in one of her Radical Transformation Clinics.
The mind may find this boring, addicted to the intensity of turning life into a problem to solve and coming up with many stimulating strategic ideas and revelations, but this boredom can be a refuge for your self-recovery that eventually opens up into the simple pleasure of being.
Reattuning to the external world, its simple physical features and many qualities - in whatever way they are available to you without forcing anything. Without seeking the next sensory orgasm for the mind to get high on, but simply dwelling in the contact with the environment, allowing your attention to freely wander and trace the textures of the landscape with ease and curiosity.
Letting your eyes go where they want to go for a while, and just noticing what it’s like to be where you are.
How are your senses letting you know that you’re in this place, here and now?
What does that knowing smell like? Does it have a flavor? A color or texture? A warmth? What else?
And while you’re here, you might as well notice how your body is enjoying that for a while.
Soft snowy vibes amidst misty mountains,
Hagen
