Jun 21

Jun 21 Where the Spirit Can Be Broken: A Human Design Learning Story

There are many secrets that the bodygraph holds in coming to grips with and accepting our evolutionary process. Over the years as I mentor professional students in unlocking their potential, I know I explain so many little-known bodygraph secrets that need to be shared more broadly so that we as a community can learn and grow together.

One of those is the state of a complete lack of the Lunar Nodes' definition in a natal chart, which I implement the analysis of in my deeper chart readings and teach you how to do as a professional analyst. Personally, I am one of these people whose nodes are in undefined Centers.

What is the nature of your Spirit? Put simply, it is the highest vibrational expression of the frequency of your being. In this duality of Being consciousness embodied in form, we all have a Signature of our Auric Type. That Signature is the essence of your Spirit shining through. Converse about it (and see all the accompanying pictures) on our private learning platform, HumanDesign.Live to learn how I overcame...Living with a "Broken Spirit"

Where the Spirit Can Be Broken: A Nodal Lesson

From HD Teen to HD Adult

In Human Design, we have a very different view of what constitutes maturity age-wise when it comes to our life cycles compared to the homogenized world, henceforth known here on our site as "sheep."

Have you ever lived next to sheep? Obnoxiously loud creatures. And the smell!

In Human Design, Ra trains us to be wolves. Welcome to the pack, my friends.

The end of our 9-Centered childhood is 30, when the most intense aspect of our Saturn Cycle kicks in, which is what I like to call our growing pains.

The beginning of our 9-Centered maturity is 38-44 depending on our Uranus Opposition date. We know this collectively as the "mid-life crisis" as things really shift in our lives. I happen to be stepping foot into this magical time.

The flowering of our full 9-Centered potential begins at age 50, during our Kiron return. Ra jokingly said, "human beings are useless before 50." How's that for a heretical perspective? More on the Kiron Cycle in this video.

In sheeplandia, 50 is idealistically thought of as a time to retire early, if you're really lucky, to quit work and enjoy life.

In wolflandia, 50 isn't anywhere near over the hill, but the beginning of a new Cycle when the fun really begins! Especially for those of us lucky enough to be living lives in alignment.

In Human Design, a Kiron Return reading is recommended for anyone who has completed a 7-year deconditioning Cycle; most especially it is highly recommended for all 6th line beings. Your natal chart combined with your Kiron chart explains what the highest flowering of your potential is. The Kironial activations shows the good conditioning required for you to fulfill your life's work.

Our current human vehicle is Uranian (unusual) in nature, a transitional creature between the 7-Centered Saturnian body and the coming RAVE mutation of our human species. Uranus dictates when we finally end the cycle of taking in the experiences necessary to set the stage for the rest of our lives. Between 38-44, we finally become adults, at a mature stage where we begin to breathe out our gifts in preparation for planting our life's work (Incarnation Cross) in the fertile soil of our Kironian Phase (beginning at age 49-50).

There is an important SHIFT that happens from before your Uranus Opposition to after your Uranus Opposition. You leave behind the South Nodes (Ketu) and enter into the world dominated by your North Node (Rahu) themes.

To remember which is which, think "Ra Uru Hu developed Human Design for our future" Ra - Hu or Rahu is the direction we move towards into the future, the North Node. Rahu is a term Ra borrowed from Vedic Astrology.

We can liken Nodal Oppositions to those really long roads you find in big cities. Where the name of the road changes, the scenery changes, but you are still going in the same direction as you are on the same road. Nodes are the path populated with people where you be (unconscious design) and frames how you see (conscious personality).

As I enter into my Uranus Opposition to finally become a 9-Centered Adult (age 44 for me) I am transitioning to fulfilling my purpose in a radically different environment. Instead of the mind's Tribal Defense environment and Collective Abstract view, I'm entering the realm of bonding through an Individual Knowing environment and donning Capitalistic Tribal Leadership Support glasses.

My physical environment is designed to be populated by highly selective Risk-Takers who want to know what makes life meaningful beyond survival, colored by being at a higher vantage point to intuit what others cannot (28.2.4.2). My conscious perspective is maturing to one of having a Conservative, Objective, personal viewpoint of what can endure despite fear of financial failures (32.6.6.1).

I have many family members, acquaintances, friends, students, and clients in my life with the 27-28 and 42-32 sun/earth axis. When that happens to match the exact line value, that is an indicator of a Karmic Relationship.

In my design, I have a host of important memory circuit gates discerning what information is of relevance to us. If you don't know what the memory circuit gates are, it is an advanced area of circuitry; I teach them in the first year of our Professional Analyst Training classes.

I found as I got closer to my Uranus Opposition, I have a lot more energy and inspiration to write you stories of what I remember as an HD teaching tool. This is especially true right now as my throat is too sore from Hashimotos to speak as much as I would like to communicate with you, my beloved HD family!

The Aura carries information, it is what creates the form, not the other way around according to Ra. Any information we take in and what we are designed to breathe out forms the foundation of our 9-Centered Outer Authority, or the modern Awakened Life.

Enlightenment is our normal state of Being, and it is uniquely experienced by each of us.

Living with a
"Broken Spirit"

The Human Design System describes all four Nodes in an undefined state like mine, as where the "Spirit can be Broken."

What is the nature of your Spirit? Put simply, it is the highest vibrational expression of the frequency of your being. In this duality of Being consciousness embodied in form, we all have a Signature of our Auric Type. That Signature is the essence of your Spirit shining through.

One of those is the state of a complete lack of the Lunar Nodes' definition in a natal chart, which I implement the analysis of in my deeper chart readings and teach you how to do as a professional analyst. Personally, I am one of these people whose nodes are in undefined Centers.

Another way we can say this is that my environment is tremendously influenced by the people in my life who define them—an echo of the theme of a Projector, who is deeply dependent on others to recognize them.

Stories from my past,
an environment for the nurturing of growth

I've gone through extreme cycles of extremely poor and well-off thanks to my Fate my whole life. The success and bitterness cycle does not correlate with the bank balance, I can assure you. Born and raised mostly on the Big Island of Hawaii, I've lived in cars, on travertine, or concrete, to plywood floors or rotted wood and dirt floors alike.

As a kid, I remember building two of our own houses (my dad was a plasterer so I got to help). One of them was a Hawaii-style "coffee shack" hanging off a cliff off Highway 11 (a two-lane road that was the only one circling the entire island) we rebuilt and added on to. The other was brand new construction and felt luxurious with each of us kids getting our own room, its jetted master jacuzzi tub in the upstairs master and a rec room below, in addition to the giant living room with open beam ceilings. The neighbors had peacocks that were so very loud!

After my mom disappeared on us when I was 11 life got really hard. The house we'd built with our hands was sold, and I lived with many close or distant family members and friends of the family, boyfriends, and alone renting rooms, moving 17 times over the next 6 years alone.

When the nodal environment is completely undefined, the life path can through dramatic changes depending upon who is in your life.

When I was young we used to tent camp on a piece of remote, rocky shoreline property about four miles south of Kealekekua Bay. It was 100-year lease land that my paternal grandmother had the right to use. There was a tin shed with a pool table and on Saturdays, there would be "chicken fights" where the locals would attach curved knives to the legs of the cocks and bet on the winner.

This was just one of the many places I later lived as a teen, as I had a fight with my Dad's wife here and left that home to live with others, including an aunt, a grandmother, my sister's godmother, and my mom until I emancipated myself at 16 and dropped out of high school to go to work.

There was an outhouse up the hill that was super scary for this non-defined splenic center child to walk over the rough lava rocks at night, despite the flashlight. Stories of "night marchers" the ghosts of ancient Hawaiian warriors filled my imaginative mind.

There was no electricity; we had an ice chest filled with ice from the gas station 20 minutes up the winding tropical road, batteries for the radio, and kerosene lamps with the glow of mosquito coils at night. My dad would take us fishing in a tiny boat and he'd gut the colorful reef fish we caught to cook on the lava rock firepit he built to cook our dinner.

We washed our dishes in the tidepools across the dirt road between us and the rocky lava rock shoreline. I remember loving to watch the fierce-looking moray eels come up from the depths of the ocean to thrash about while they ate our scraps.

My years spending summertime down there were mostly sweet childhood experiences; jumping off cliffs, swimming, fishing, tubing, playing in tidepools, reading. As a high school teenager years later, I found myself living there in this three-room padlocked beach shack built from job scraps with my dad, my 15-year-old sister with her baby, and later my Dad's new wife. The unpainted plywood windows we'd prop open with sticks to the salty breeze during the daytime, without screens blocking the epic expanse of a glittering ocean view.

The thunderous crash of the waves through the lava tubes was so strong it shook our little shack on stilts and the bed I shared with my generator sibling and niece when the ocean was rough. Salt spray covered everything, and a daily shower was necessary to sleep comfortably.

The shack had a small closet with a hole in the floor for water to pour out onto the ground where we "went au'au" or bathed ourselves in the lightless, windowless room and no door, using a bucket and a cup with water heated over a propane camping stove. We got our water lugged in 5-gallon buckets from a public faucet near the Captain Cook monument down mostly unpaved dirt and rock roads several miles away.

My dad drove a roaring F-150 red Ford pickup from the 80's with a black rack he'd strapped giant bull horns to the front of, and this hard-working vehicle was nicknamed the Red Bull. I smile when I think of that truck, as it took us down the steep Waipi'o Valley road (where the end of Waterworld was filmed) for our other summer family vacation adventures.

The way you discern who is supposed to be in your life is utterly unique to your design, as Projectors are quite complex. The simplest signpost is the sweetness that can be felt in the relationship. Is it sweet, do you feel the glow of success? Or is it bitter, leaving a sourness to the experience? Remember these keys, they serve us well as signposts of alignment or not in this Projector movie.

When you have nodes
that are in undefined centers
as I do,
your life path
is deeply conditioned
by the others in your world
who define them.

If you are a Projector
like me,
this adds a deep
dependency.

For Projectors, there is an
inherent imperative
to have the right people
in your life to
fulfill your birthright of success.

DISCERNMENT OF WHO
BELONGS IN YOUR LIFE
IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL
FOR US PROJECTORS TO DEVELOP.

For this reason, I am happy to announce a new Projector group "Future of Human Design" and if you are under 30, you're welcome to join, just post in the comments below this article on HumanDesign.Live for an invite.

Needless to say with a childhood experience like this, I had an interest in personal finance and swore to myself that I would have a better life for my child than what I'd experienced.

I started around eighteen by studying mail-order real estate investment programs and learned from mailed newsletters, cassette tapes, and books about personal finances. There was no internet back then, so I'd done mail correspondence courses to keep learning until I got my GED around the time my schoolmates would have been graduating.

I often worked multiple jobs, sometimes from an hour before sunrise till well beyond the sunset. I started contributing to a Roth IRA at 21, working my way to what I thought would bring me the security of a good life, earning money, and self-educating with the goal of being a millionaire by the time I was 30.

I made it to my childhood goal, living what many consider a rich lifestyle thanks to my dedication to hard work and security a few years before the 2008 real estate crash. The millionaire status I thought would bring the success that I'd worked so hard to get to vanished in a series of unfortunate events many of us here in the states are familiar with.

After the crash, it was all I could do to keep myself from hurtling off the balcony of the 17th floor Little Italy condo in downtown San Diego. My mind certainly imagined it constantly. My then-husband and I had owned a real estate and mortgage brokerage in the East San Francisco Bay Area that went belly-up; losing three California properties, and all our retirement when the real estate market tanked nearly crushed us.

I found myself homeless, living week to week in a motel, carless, scrambling for a job (creating my own online as a social media marketing manager), eventually taking on random and fetish modeling gigs to get by, living in an RV, and then 5th wheel trailer with a toddler, a disabled and deeply depressed husband, and we were in bankruptcy court. I was incredibly ashamed to be on welfare and going to group therapy to battle suicidal thoughts.

Read the rest of the story under the storytelling topic on HumanDesign.Live

Love yourself,

no matter what you see,

what you think,
what you do.
It's so easy

when You can be You.
Being yourself

is weird that's true,
and it is utterly,

brilliantly

perfect for you.
Because ONLY

YOU
CAN BE

YOU.