The "Depression Monster"

In the SyFy series The Magicians, Quentin is a sensitive, awkward, mediocre magician with a big heart. At first, I didn’t warm to the character because of his deep issues with depression (bad personal memories), but he grows on you like an abandoned, traumatized, and troubled puppy would, and by the end I absolutely loved him. When you get to see what’s going on in the show, the depression makes a whole lot of sense.

Just like our lives when looked through the HD lens. When you get enough of the history, backstory, realizations, and recognitions, you can have compassion, acceptance, and love. No faults, you are designed perfectly for your life.

In series 3 episode 3, Quentin is given one of the seven keys that are part of a Quest he’s on to restore magic to the realms. As would be expected, each of the keys has magical power, and unfortunately, this one is NOT cool.

Watch the first 90 seconds…

Kinda silly, yet it’s so much easier to see through the illusion when it’s someone else’s on display in front of you, right?

The depression monster really gets to him so Quentin asks to be tied to the mast so that he doesn’t leap overboard to kill himself and end his misery. Then his loyal servant grabs the key and almost immediately jumps overboard and into a sea dragon’s mouth (it is a fantasy story, after all).

Yet, in our world here suicide rates are on the rise. At best, the not-self mind’s story (depression monster) makes you crazy (identifying with the world through your skewed perspective of it thanks to wounds of conditioning). Ra called it the madness of the normal mind. At worst, suicide is an extreme example of what can happen when you believe your mind’s story.

I’m not saying all suicides are caused by the not-self mind. What I am clear on sharing though, as someone who struggled with suicidal ideation from my teenage years and into my late 30’s, is that when I finally let go of my mind’s story, the mental depression left, and with it, the longing for a release from the misery of my (not-self) life.

How has your Human Design Experiment changed your life?

Originally shared in the HD Chart Highlights, Analyses & Sharings space at HumanDesign.Live. Membership is free.